I sold my new subaru and bought a 2002 4runner. Her name is Bernadette. We have just completed our first solo road trip that went from Vermont to rural Virginia to the Eastern Shore, Western Connecticut and back to Vermont. This is noteworthy only because it is the first time that I have driven long distance without the pleasure of chatting with tom as i whizzed down the highway. It is also the first time that I began to realize the division of knowledge that a couple has when they have been married a long time.
A friend who was widowed four years ago pointed out that he and his wife shared the general responsibilities of life and when it was just him there was a realization of how much the other person did and how much their knowledge was well.. their knowledge. A silly example for me was I discovered that cars have fuses. Maybe everyone knows that but I did not as fuses were Tom's department. I also learned that you can't use orchard spray on Pears. Then why label the stupid bottle as fruit tree spray. Pears are fruit duh. I learned that it is possible to drive at night without crashing the car, that I can pay attention to deer who are determined to become hood ornaments. I would not normally have done either of those things as Tom was the night driver. The list in just this last week is long - longer in fact that I had any idea it would become.
I am glad that I simply went ahead and traded my car in for one that is sturdy, sensible and will see me through on adventures as they unfold. In the meantime I am keeping good notes on the things that I need to name and remind myself to do.