Thursday, April 18, 2013


I weary of organization.. pain has steps, grief has steps , terrific.  The bottom line is that the loss of your life's partner is not for the faint of heart.  A friend reminded me that it could be worse.. well of course it can. But I think it is important for all of us to realize that our pain is well .. our pain. One persons is not meant to diminish or trivialize the other.  Loss is loss and as I said recently to a dear friend be it hound or husband does not mediate the grief. We look often for self help books which frankly i plan to burn happily at the bonfire in Tom's honor.. not because they are not helpful but because they do not speak to me. Instead the book I will treasure is for children.. Rabityness .. may i tentatively recommend to all . It is about loss and joy. Can we contain both in the same breath , I surely hope so.   I just passed the one month mark, one month vs. 41 years.  Hmmm is there a recipe for that, I think not.  But there is a recipe for gardens and for staying on an even keel and howling at the moon when the tiny boat of stability puts the lee rail under water and the wind in the rigging rattles the mast and plunges the bow into the sea. 


  1. Dear Bird,
    So glad that Rabbityness (by Jo Empson, if anyone wants to look for it) found its way into your heart. Tom's legacy was indeed one of joy and you are writing the book about it with each row you plant, log you stack and visitor you entertain.
    I wish you did not have to bear such sorrow as you build the joy.

  2. Oh kay .. I am about to write you for real.. it is a perfect book